When discussing women and finance, we often focus on tangible differences like the pay gap, superannuation shortfalls, or career breaks to raise children. These are undeniably important issues, but there’s another side to the story that’s equally powerful: the intangible impacts that arise when women feel out of control of their money. In my years as a financial advisor, I’ve seen how uncertainty and fear around finances can lead to embarrassment, a sense of failure, or even isolation. Yet, it doesn’t have to be this way. By reframing “financial fitness,” we can transform an intimidating topic into an empowering process—one that significantly enriches our overall well-being.

The intangible costs of “not knowing”

Emotional toll

Some of my clients assume their main problem is “not earning enough” or “taking time off for family,” but the emotional toll can be just as significant as any wage gap. Women who feel uncertain about their finances frequently describe embarrassment, stress, or shame—often apologising as though they’ve failed a responsibility. These negative feelings can erode self-confidence and spill over into other parts of their lives, from relationships to career decisions.

Subtle yet material effects

There’s real data to back this up. A study by The Beddoes Institute found that women who felt financially capable experienced major boosts in emotional health and overall life satisfaction. Interestingly, these improvements weren’t strictly linked to being “rich”; they were tied to understanding finances and feeling supported. In other words, knowledge—and the confidence it brings—has a measurable impact on daily well-being, from mental health to physical lifestyle choices.

Why we often hesitate

Fear and embarrassment

One of the biggest barriers to financial fitness is the fear of admitting knowledge gaps. High-achieving women sometimes worry they’ll be judged for “not having it all together.” Meanwhile, old-fashioned ideas about “polite conversation” can keep us from discussing money openly—especially among peers. But if hiring a personal trainer to learn gym equipment isn’t shameful, why should hiring a financial advisor or asking a friend for money tips be any different?

The apology trap

Again and again, I hear clients open with, “I’m sorry, it’s such a mess.” This apologetic tone hints at a deeper sense that they should’ve mastered finances “by now.” Yet the reality is we don’t expect ourselves to be experts in every arena, nor do we blame ourselves for hiring professionals in other spheres of life (e.g., lawyers, doctors). Money talk is often considered “tacky,” which only reinforces the embarrassment cycle and hinders healthy discussions.

Defining financial fitness

Beyond being “rich”

Financial fitness isn’t about commanding a huge salary or having the most lavish portfolio; it’s about knowing how your money works, where it goes, and why certain strategies suit your goals. It’s analogous to physical fitness: some people aim for marathons, others just want to feel healthy and energetic. In money terms, you might desire a large property portfolio, while someone else might prefer a simpler approach that covers family needs. Both can be “fit” in their own right.

Empowerment through knowledge

The more we understand finances—budgeting, investing, retirement planning—the less fearful or intimidated we feel. That’s when true empowerment takes hold: women recognise their decisions about spending, saving, or investing aren’t random but strategic steps toward a stronger, more secure future. It’s that sense of mastery that leads to emotional relief and tangible progress.

 
Practical steps to start the journey

• Open up early and often: Talk with trusted friends, family, or mentors about what they’re doing financially. Swap stories, share resources. No topic should feel off-limits if it helps you learn. If you have children, discuss basic money concepts early, letting them see how the household budget works. This normalises money talk from a young age.

• Seek professional help: Just like you’d consult a dietitian or personal trainer, financial advisors are trained to guide you. If big numbers or complex strategies feel daunting, let an expert help navigate them. Overcome the stigma of “not knowing enough.” Qualified professionals exist precisely because finance can be intricate.

• Attend collaborative events: Gatherings like Women in Numbers aren’t just about passively listening; they spark conversations with peers facing similar challenges. You’ll quickly realise “everyone else is learning too!” Join local workshops, “money clubs,” or even virtual communities. Hearing diverse perspectives accelerates financial literacy.

• Reframe the narrative: Ditch the idea that talking about finances is either “tacky” or “unfeminine.” Managing money is a life skill that directly influences personal autonomy, career choices, and family security. Embrace curiosity over shame. If you make a mistake or haven’t looked at your super for years, it’s never too late to start.

Financial fitness is more than spreadsheets and salary figures. It’s about freeing ourselves from the intangible burdens of stress, fear, and embarrassment around money and replacing them with confidence, knowledge, and agency. From my vantage point in financial advisory, I see time and again that understanding how your money works can transform your emotional, relational, and even physical well-being—just as effectively as maintaining healthy eating or exercise habits.

Let’s break the silence. Talk openly about finances, ask questions without shame, and make time for financial literacy as we would for our mental health or friendships. The road to financial fitness needn’t be lonely or intimidating. Together, we can build a culture where women confidently manage their wealth and inspire others to do the same.

About the Author

Tess Uncle is a Director at Wybenga Group, where she has spent years helping women navigate all aspects of their finances—from budgeting to complex investment strategies. A passionate advocate for financial fitness, Tess supports clients in overcoming fear and embarrassment around money, believing that understanding leads to the empowerment women deserve in both personal and professional spheres.

Tess Uncle
Director, Wybenga Group

www.wybengagroup.com.au